I’ve been covered in hives for weeks now.

From the soles of my feet to my scalp I’m itchy, I’m red, and quite frankly, I’m over it.

About two weeks ago, I got my first itch. The hives followed soon after.

Having experienced something similar in the past, I thought I knew what was happening.

I went to the doctor, told them I was having an allergic reaction, and asked for some Prednisone, a steroid used for allergic reactions.

A week later, with a boatload of steroids in my system, I was still hiving out.

That, I hadn’t experienced yet. So, I went to urgent care.

They told me they weren’t sure what was going on, and prescribed me more Prednisone.

For those that aren’t familiar with Prednisone, let me familiarize you a bit. Prednisone can cause irritability, mood changes, insomnia, and weight gain. Just to name the few that I’ve experienced.

While it’s not the end of the world to feel your pants tightening by the day, or to make a collage of Willem Defoe at three in the morning because you can’t sleep, it’s not ideal.

So, I went to my primary care doctor the next day.

While she had more of an idea as to what was happening to me than the other doctor, she still thought it’d be a good idea for me to go to the dermatologist.

So, about three days later, I went to my third doctor of the week.

“Yep. It’s exactly what I thought,” the dermatologist said when she scratched me and a bright red, raised line flared up in her wake. “Dermatographism.”

I looked at her confused, asking what exactly that meant.

“To put it simply, you’re allergic to the world,” she said.

I burst out laughing. Of course! I’m allergic to the world. I mean, why wouldn’t I be?

I had bunions, I’m basically blind without glasses or contacts, I got braces twice, I have eczema, I have asthma, and now, I’m allergic to the world.

The more scientific definition of Dermatographism that I was given by my doctor was that my body produces too much histamine, and is always “on edge,” or, waiting to have a reaction.

With the stress of moving back home, and the change of altitude and environment, my body apparently snapped under the pressure.

After doing a bit of Googling, I discovered that the literal meaning of the condition is “to write on the skin.” Which felt quite kismet. At least there’s that.

Now, per doctor’s orders, I take Claritin in the mornings, Zyrtec in the afternoon, and Benadryl at night. The real kicker though, is that they’ve extended my steroids for two more weeks.

However, I’m not too itchy these days, my hives come and go, and my pants are still buttoning. For now.

The upside of this whole situation is that I have a great excuse when I need to get out of something.

Asking me to go for a hike? I can’t, I’m allergic to the world.

Asking me to leave the comfort of my grandparents home for any reason? I can’t. I’m allergic to the world.